Treadmill Thoughts

Thoughts while on the Treadmill.

This could be a weekly series due to the abundance of bizarre thinking that happens while putting in the miles. Last night was no exception, I started thinking about my resolutions to check in on how I was doing. Some notable accomplishments are that I have now gone to Wegmans multiple times without buying more inedible purchases than edible! I consider it a success when I look into my cart and it is void of nail polish, any As Seen On TV items, or that snowball maker that I have been eyeing! As far as our swear jar is concerned…the good news is the money is piling up, the bad news is the money is piling up. We’re trying. This whole resolution thing was fun until David kept trying to assign resolutions to me. I shut that down reeeaaal quick.”You should make your resolution to hang your towel up everyday.” “Ohhhh yeah? You should resolute to put your own laundry away.” Boom! End of conversation! 

If resolutions were real thing, there should be rules and guidelines to prevent people like us from augmenting the original resolution. For example, January 1st comes and we’re all like “I am going to do core work 4x per week” then February 1st hits and that number decreases to by 2 than eventually I am totally content doing core work once per month! Just like with the swear jar, David keeps trying to say he doesn’t have to put money in that jar if he isn’t at home? WHAT!? He also has asked if “IOU’s” are acceptable. 

So back to my treadmill thoughts, last night I decided to put a resolution in motion that we can and will actually keep. I am double-dipping because we always resolute to spend more time together, which is insane because the next step would be to just physically bind our bodies together. That sounds both odd and uncomfortable, but you get the point. So drumroll please….In 2014 we resolute to watch ALL seasons of Seinfeld from start to finish. Truthfully, once we start this resolution we will complete it in about 72 hours. We are Netflix junkies who do not have the discipline to shut the TV off when the sun starts coming up. We also don’t have cable, so there will be little in the way of distractions. I invite and challenge you to join us on this deep soul-searching adventure in 2014! Ready. Set. Go. 

Happy Tuesday! 

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Dog Shaming

Hi Friends! 

Big news! I am writing this post from our brand new sofa! Back in November we finally bought a new sofa and it arrived on Thursday. Since the beginning of our domestic partnership, we have been searching high and low for the perfect couch. For normal people sofa shopping is probably easy and painless, for us not so much. We like to turn it into an olympic sport. Once we found a contender sofa we wanted to wait to make sure it was “the one.” So we shopped around but continued to return to the store and “visit” said contender sofa. We would lay on it and walk circles around it admiring it in all its couch-ness and comfy-ness glory. Mostly we would just embarrass ourselves and annoy the poor sales person. Finally we returned to the store on Black Friday (WHYYYYYY?) and decided we were going to pull the trigger. Low and behold we purchased the only sofa in the entire place that was NOT on sale. WINNING! 

So fast forward to Thursday, the sofa arrives and we are ecstatic! We have counted down the days till movie night on the new sofa! Within three hours of it arriving at our door, Zeus jumps up on the sofa to stalk his arch-nemesis, the mailman. David then yells at him to get off the couch when it startles him and he pees on brand new sofa. PEES RIGHT SMACK DAB ON THE MIDDLE OF THE COUCH. Unfortunately I was at work when this all occurred, so I didn’t experience this firsthand only heard David’s frantic voice when he called asking what to do. Like any normal rational person, I proceeded to scold David for yelling and scaring Zeus. Thankfully, the couch situation has been remedied and we are all good again. 

In other news, we finally de-christmased the house this week. It was sad and depressing like every year. David had an innovative idea of siren wrapping the entire tree and storing it that way…we didn’t have enough siren wrap though. After we were finished David just kept repeating how “stupid it looks in here.” He’s right, the teacher in me can’t help but decorate for Valentines Day. Hallmark holiday or not, I’m a fan. This is a judgement free zone, people. Easy. Image

 

Happy Sunday! 

The Year of The Blog

Hello again, old friends. Welcome to 2014. If you are anything like me, you are still in denial that Christmas is over. I am clinging for dear life to my Christmas tree and twinkle lights…not ready to say farewell. Maybe in February. I unlike most do not find it offensive when people leave their Christmas decor up too long, in fact I applaud their efforts to buck the system. Stick it to the man, overly festive family! I support you! 

In effort to move on though, I have made a list of my 2014 resolutions. Hence, why I am here with you. One of my resolutions this year is to resurrect the blog. You see, my blog is much like a cat in that it has nine lives, except this cat is mostly dead with only 4 lives left. Dead cat joke, really? Sorry..I’m out of practice. Along with bringing the blog back, my resolutions include learning discipline when it comes to spending money. I am a quasi-spender. I don’t buy many large ticket items, think dollar bin at Target. I own it all. You know those magnetic notepads that go on for fridge? I have 25. Bacon flavored lip balm? Must have it. Christmas ornament shaped like a hamburger? Mine. (Side note: I do not regret this purchase). Those are just a few of my random and unnecessary purchases. I am learning. Oh, and if you are wondering, the bacon flavored lip balm was the worst thing ever. Don’t buy it. 

So heres to 2014, friends.

*You may be wondering why I am writing this post on Saturday, January 4th. Four whole days after the new year started. In my eyes, when a new year begins in the middle of the week it doesn’t count. No one starts anything new on a Wednesday, that’s just ridiculous. 

Hump Day!

Well, friends.. I apologize for the hiatus. It appears living in a house with one bathroom while it is being gutted and rebuilt is not possible. Soon after the demo commenced we grew tired of using public bathrooms and packed our bags heading west to my parents’ house. We have been staying at The Sanko Bed & Breakfast for a while now.

It’s a funny thing when you return home after not living there for 3ish years, you revert right back to an 8-year-old the minute you walk through the door. I find myself going to Wegmans with my Mom now and walking next to the cart throwing a random assortment of objects into the cart when she is not looking. My most recent purchase caused an all out temper tantrum with my little brother (who is 22). I bought a bag of jelly beans and once he found out that my Mom bought them for me, he belligerently expressed his anger about why my mom routinely refuses to buy him pop, but I get candy. I have since learned to hide my jelly beans and Garrett still doesn’t get any pop.

Another evening of fun included Garrett and I doing gymnastics in the family room on top of a laundry hamper. We spent a couple of hours balancing ourselves in handstands on top of the laundry hamper while my Mom took pictures. Then my Mom decides she’s going to attempt the handstand and we all sit back and video while she repetitively says “no pictures!”  Typical. Like usual when we asked my Dad to watch he immediately covered his eyes in horror and told us that we were going to break our necks and the hamper. We still don’t know which one he was more concerned about our necks or the hamper?

While staying at The Sanko Bed & Breakfast, I have taken to rating my stay using the tried and true star method. If my Mom refuses to do something I say “minus star”…so far we are hanging steady in the negative stars. While at Wegmans if I try to buy more jelly beans and she says “no,” I deduct a star and cite that the guests are not properly nourished. I have also requested turn down service for my room and those fancy towel animals wearing sunglasses but this too has gone unnoticed. Minus star. When things get really bad, I threaten to go on Google and spam her with bad reviews. In all honesty though, you forgot how awesome it is living with more than one person. When David doesn’t want to watch my TV show, I have three other people to choose from. When I was living at my house I would have to con people into play board games. It usually involved me suggesting they come over and watch a movie and then I usually forgot the movie, but I DID have 18+ board games waiting. “Oh, monopoly? I have to go let my neighbors parakeet out right now. See Ya!” Not this time! When I pull out the board games at my parents’, no one can make quick excuses and leave because they live there. Brilliant!

Alright, that’s all for now. I will post pictures from the construction just as soon as I learn how to upload pictures from my big camera to this tiny computer.

What day is it?? You know what day it is….Go on, say it…

HUMP DAYYYYYYY!

If the walls could talk…

***POST EDIT: Fixed pictures! As we speak the plumbers are removing old pipes and working on installing new! Progress!

Good Morning! Happy Monday to you.

It has been one week since we last corresponded. In that week we decided to completely gut and remodel our bathroom. When we bought this house, we knew we were going to end up remodeling the bathroom (our toilet was flush with the wall). However, we really never committed to an official timeline of action. Well, screw timelines and planning procedures we are moving forward!

Wreck It Ralph in his element.

Wreck It Ralph in his element.

Demolition is underway. The bathroom looks like we are living in an post-apocolpytic world. Currently there is no floor, walls, tub, or sink. BUT we do have a functional toilet! This is important as we only have one bathroom in our tiny house. On the day when the floor was being ripped out, there were many a trips made to Wegmans, etc to use their toilets! Thanks Wegmans! As for showering, that’s a little dicey. Fortunately we have a gym where we can shower daily for this week. During the demolition process, we had to completely deconstruct an old coal-burning furnace and chimney that starts in the basement and runs through the second floor bathroom. Cinderblocks and bricks were thrown out the window to prevent having to walk up and down the stairs. We’re all about efficiency.

Efficiency= throwing stuff out the window.

Efficiency= throwing stuff out the window.

Our charming little house was built in 1929. At the time of it’s construction it was the only house in the area and was surrounded by farm land. There is much history in this house. Under the current floor were three or four different layers of flooring. Tile, more tile, something that is no longer recognizable, and then original hardwoods. It was neat (and slightly disturbing) to think about who walked on these floors before me. Under the bathtub was a bunch of insulation and in added effort for more insulation someone shredded old newspaper. It is hard to tell when the newspaper was written, but there is an ad for a ’27 Chrysler 70 Roadster selling for $100.00 or Famous Elby Shirts for 88 cents! I wish I could travel back in time and meet the people who lived here. I would thank them for building such a solid fine home and then ask them to take better care of their hardwood floors.

 

 

 

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1927 Chrysler Roaster

This renovation process has really made me love our home even more. I feel lucky to be a part of something so rich in history. It makes me want to rip down all the walls and see if I can find a time capsule or any other goodies. Better yet, David and I are going to bury our own treasures in the walls for the future owners to find and analyze 80 years from now!

BEFORE. Overweight people could not use our bathroom. Problem.

BEFORE. Overweight people could not use our bathroom. Problem.

 

AFTER. More space! Horray!

AFTER. More space! Horray!

Skunk Face

As promised, I am here to recount the lovely venture we had with a skunk this past weekend. The timing could not have been better. Sigh. Midnight with a house full of overnight guests and some visitors. One bathroom.  To top it off this all occurred post Beer on the Bay, so I was not exactly bringing my A-game to the skunk attack.

Unrelated photo. One of our favorite games: "See how long we can carry Zeus"

Unrelated photo. One of our favorite games: “See how long we can carry Zeus”

Where to begin?

We attended Beer on the Bay earlier in the day. Eventually after over staying our welcome  in the beer tent we ventured home. Once home with a house full of guests we ordered 100 dollars worth of Chinese food. Best choice made all day. Hours later as good byes were being said and the party was dying down, I let Zeus out to relieve himself before retreating to bed myself. He ran into the backyard and immediately I hear him start barking and growling. Shit. I run into the backyard sans shoes and am faced with a very angry skunk. Zeus is now running full circles around the skunk preventing the skunk from escaping. Thank you, Zeus. The skunk is hissing like a cat, Zeus is barking like a mad man, and I am screaming “OMGOMGOMGOMG! Zeus! COMEEEE!” Needless to say Zeus did not come, but rather continued his track workout around the skunk. The skunk is now so angry it starts running at me. I panic grab a red Adirondack chair and throw it at the skunk. Hulk Skunk is not phased by the chair. Zeus finally gives up and comes with me, we sprint into the house and lock the door. I now have a smelly skunk-faced dog IN my house (In hindsight, this was a horrible choice but I was terrified the skunk was going to rally his skunk friends and riot). I am running over air mattresses and human bodies to get Zeus to the bathroom. FYI, I am a really good host.  Once upstairs I scream to David that Zeus has been skunked and I need help! What a way to wake up. He then tells me to drive to the store and get tomato juice at 1 am. Yeah, after drinking for 5 plus that’s not happening. (Note: we have never even given Zeus a bath before. He religiously goes to the groomer because we haven’t worked up the courage to bath a 90 pound dog ourselves. We bathed him outside the first time we brought him home and put his leash around a tree. He made a solid attempt to uproot the tree). After heaving Zeus into the tub, we begin. Immediately its apparent that Zeus is terrified of the bath and I feel so bad for him that I get into the tub with all my clothes on. Another really stellar choice. Zeus will only tolerate the bath so long as his head and body are glued to me. I have now been skunked by proxy. David is laughing uncontrollably and we wanted photo documentation of this event, but we knew if we opened the bathroom door Zeus would make a run for it. Finally after 3 baths and scrub downs, he smells semi normal. We dry him off best we could and call it a night. I did not have the energy to then scrub the bathroom at 2am because it looked like a black dog exploded. There was black hair on every wall and surface. We confine Zeus in our room (we don’t own a kennel and figured he was traumatized enough). I can still recall the burning sensation in my throat from the skunk fumes as I was trying to fall asleep.

Hours later we awake and are faced with the aftermath of the skunk attack. The house definitely smells, but because we all have been sleeping in it for 4 plus hours we acclimate and don’t realize just how bad it is. Somehow none of our guests heard my hysteric screaming nor did they feel Zeus and I running over their bodies in the middle of the night. I believe I have Beer on the Bay to thank for that!

After a quick Google we are off to the store to get Natures Miracle Skunk Odor Remover (official endorsement!). We scrub and wash everything. Including Zeus two more times. After a couple of hours, the smell recedes and we lie on the battle field victorious. Phew.

Good times.

Happy Monday!

Jack of All Trades But Master of None.

Swimming? Nailed it.

Swimming? Nailed it.

I’ve been thinking a lot about hobbies and how our interests and passions shape us. All of the neat and interesting people I know have defined hobbies and interests. Hobbies are a good thing, they give you something to focus on that isn’t  job-related. Unless your lucky enough to incorporate your hobby into your career. In my opinion, in terms of hobbies, the more the merrier!

All of this thinking came about due to a friend of David’s breaking up with a female friend because she lacked interest. She did not have hobbies of her own rather piggy-backed off of whatever interests he had. This makes for some less than stellar conversations. “What do you like to do? I like to paint-by-numbers” …”ditto.” In a perfect world, the two of them could ride off into the sunset and swap paint-by-number tricks of the trade, but in reality the true at heart paint-by-number fan realizes they are being catfished. Kaboom.

That is a quality I admire in David, he has many hobbies and interests. While he does cycle through them throughout the year, they remain the same. Currently he is really into home brewing. Like really, really into home brewing. Many times I come downstairs to find him watching YouTube videos of other equally enthusiastic home brewers (Pause. Rewind. Take notes. Repeat). He recently joined a beer club too! I tried asking him why he didn’t get the couples membership (this actually exists), but I couldn’t keep a straight face without laughing.

Home brewing is neat and I like beer, but I do not share his extreme passion for it. I respect it and encourage it, but I’m not hardcore. Home brewing is a hit or miss hobby, sometimes you’ll get it right and the gates to beer Heaven open and other times…not so much. I can say this because I am basically the designated test rat (stay tuned…his next beer is a jalapeno beer). Technically speaking, I am David’s “assistant beer master”  or as he says “assistant to the beer master” but I have been fired 5 times (and counting). For whatever reason he doesn’t like when I try to make scrambled eggs in the beer factory while he’s brewing and don’t even think about napping on the job! Blasphemy. Nap nazi.

Home brewing is to David as (fill in the blank) is to me. I suffer from Hobby Whore syndrome. I am always trying to incorporate more hobbies into my life. This is evidenced by my lack of commitment or as I’d like to call it “diverse interests” in grade school sports as a child. From the age of 3 to 24, I participated in the following sports/activities; t-ball, basketball, soccer, a brief stint with volleyball, tennis, swimming, dance (for the costumes), figure skating (also for the costumes), cheerleading (couldn’t manage the 24/7 smiling), Recycling club (this is real), theatre (footloose!), gymnastics(baby hulk), snowshoeing, paddle boarding, and clarinet. In my defense, band practice was during recess so I am not exactly sure what super genius thought that through. My friend, Jillian and I would routinely stash our instruments in an empty locker and go to recess. As far as volleyball goes, Jillian and I also signed up for a volleyball camp in the summer. Day 1 we show up and everyone was over 6 foot tall and the coach ran the camp similar to military school. My wrists were bruised and I couldn’t handle one more spike to the face. We ditched the camp after day 1 and ordered Sabo’s! My Mom enjoys retelling my dedication to my t-ball team by citing one example when it started to rain during a game and I walked off the field mid-game and the coach asked where I was going and I simply explained, “it’s raining. I’m going home.” Go big or go home, people. I opted for the latter.

Beast mode..until it rains.

Beast mode..until it rains.

I like to think I am well versed in many things. I had try them all to see what I liked and I had the foresight to realize that I was not going to go to the olympics for any of those particular sports/activities so why not try them all?

Cheerleading. Too much smiling.

Cheerleading. Too much smiling.

Nice sleeves.

Nice sleeves.

Moral of the story: Go get a hobby or two or ten. You aint goin’ to the olympics.

How I Ruined My Engagement Part III

Welcome to the final installment of how we got engaged.

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At Southern Tier post-engagment.

 

If you are still reading this..congratulations, you’ve made it! This story is not really so much for you as it is for me to look back on 30 years from now. This blog lives a double life as a scrapbook, because I can’t handle the amount of bullcrap that goes into scrapbooking. A very long time ago I had lofty aspirations of making a scrapbook. I actually think I made one for a school project in grade school, but later wanted to use the binder for something else so I ripped the pages out and threw them away. Right about that time I realized this hobby probably isn’t for me, then to solidify my stance on scrapbooking, they started selling those compartmentalized rolling backpacks specifically made for scrapbooking. That is when I chucked that aspiration right out the window along with jazz dancing. No way in h-e-double-hockey-sticks would I be caught with a rolling backpack while wearing a bedazzled leotard. (Irony: The only reason I even started dancing was so I could wear those bedazzled costumes once a year at the recital.) So you get it. This is my scrapbook sans craft crap. No ribbons or special scissors or rolling backpacks. 

Back to the story..our anniversary is over. We are home from camping. Now, I start thinking what would be his next course of action? We would be going on vacation in a few weeks, I bet he will propose while we are at the beach for the week. I had put all my eggs in one basket and just assumed he was going to propose on vacation. This surprised me because David has an unnatural hatred for the beach. The kid does not do well with heat and don’t even get me started on sand. I am marrying a polar bear with severe sensory issues. Well, low and behold I think David knew I had a inkling so he decided to put on his poker face and play his wild card. 

Enter the weekend of June 14th. It was my Mom’s birthday on Sunday as well as Father’s Day. I was caught up in the celebration of my two favorite people. On Saturday morning, David kept asking me to take Zeus to the dog beach. It’s one of our absolute favorite things to do, so this wasn’t out of the ordinary. Rather than me a normal person and go do that, I insisted I had to go to Target and TJ Maxx first (WHY MOLLY…WHY!?) So, like usual I take way too long at both places and our small window for the dog beach closes because we would be going to Southern Tier that evening with some friends. We get home and are just hanging out with Zeus for a bit when I say I am going to go up and shower so we can get going. I noticed David was fidgety and walking around too much, but figured he was just excited to go to Southern Tier (anyone who knows him understands this). So I go upstairs  turn around and there is David on one knee waving the ring box in front of me like he had just won a carnival prize. My initial thoughts were “what?! how did he ninja his way up the stairs without me hearing him?” Then they quickly shifted to “Son of a monkeys uncle! What is he doing!?!” Shit got real. Just like out of the movies and like a true lady I had to cover my mouth to stop the swear words. From there, we laughed and cried and fist pumped. 

All in all there were no blimps or writing in the sand or Jumbotrons. Just us. It was perfect. Although, it appears I was destined to get engaged with greasy hair. Both camping and the day off the actual engagement I had not showered. Excellent. Also, I did happen to score a couple bathing suits at TJ Maxx for 7.99 that day.. either way I was a winner winner chicken dinner. 

Fast forward to present day. We have been engaged just shy of a month and I still haven’t called David my “fiancee” something about that word sounds so pretentious. Instead we have taken kindly to calling one another the Americanized version “fie-ance” or PIC (partner in crime). I’m a lucky girl and truth be told he could have proposed at the top of a trash dump and I still would have said yes. Here’s to a lifetime of jumping to the end of the alphabet and always being called last for everything…..

Love,

The Future Mrs. Zielinski 

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Back when I was a Lego.

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How I Ruined My Engagement Part II

So, the camping trip…

(Commentary: David was thinking about proposing on June 1st for our anniversary while camping, however my ring was not ready in time, so his first plan was primarily ruined by the jeweler. Although, had the ring been ready I probably would’ve ruined it unintentionally because of my nervousness.  His main goal in this proposal was to surprise me because in all the years we’ve been dating he has never accomplished this once. I’m not good with surprises and David is as transparent as a window.)

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Every year on June 1st for our anniversary we celebrate by going camping. This has turned into a quasi-tradition, we have skipped a year here and there but it’s somewhat of a tradition in this house. Usually it’s just the two of us, but this year was special since it would be the first time Zeus would come! I had a feeling that maybe David was thinking of proposing and naturally  began to over analyze the situation to death. I kept imagining the situation in my head…David proposing…I haven’t showered in 2(+) days, greasy hair, dirty clothes, strong stench of Off bug spray. Lovely. Then, after we are engaged and we want to share it with the world we have to hike over 3 miles away to the top of the nearest mountain to have a 2% chance that our phones can get enough reception to call our families and friends. Perfect. Also, a small (gigantic) part of me didn’t want to get engaged on our anniversary because why double-dip holidays? We should be adding more days to celebrate this short life, not overlapping! Plus, from David’s stance proposing on an anniversary isn’t exactly unexpected.

Finally, the day of the camping trip arrives. We get to the campsite and get our tent setup and frolic around the woods with Zeus. The proposal is still in the back of my mind, but I am distracted by the trip and we are having fun. There were a few times where we were walking and he would bend down I’d  be thinking “OMGOMGOMGOMG. Stand up!!!!!” only to have him come up with a few sticks for the fire. Phew. At some point during the trip after being nervous for two days, I just blurted out, “David! For the love of pickles, are you going to propose on this trip?!” He laughed and said I could rest easy because my ring was not ready yet.  In all seriousness, it’s not that I didn’t want him to propose, but even after many years of dating it’s still quite nerve wrecking. I’m pretty sure you never feel fully prepared for such an event. In hindsight now, camping wouldn’t have been a bad proposal.

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The Story of How I Ruined My Engagement Part 1

So in attempt to bring everyone up to speed…I’ll be posting about some of what has been going on around here. I’m going to share with you the story of how I ruined my engagement (multiple times). This story will be about as organized as you can expect from someone who just drank too much coffee while trying to watch the Today Show and suffers from undiagnosed ADD. Sorry ahead of time.

For anyone that doesn’t know, David and I have been together a long time. So, it was not a HUGE surprise to me that he was thinking about proposing. We had gone ring shopping previously, which is a story in and of itself. You see, I struggle to order off of Bob Evan’s menu because of the absurd amount of choices (don’t even get me started on the Cheesecake Factory). Usually, I end up interrogating the server about what THEY would order. I’m sure they love this,  the smart ones just choose the most expensive item on the menu. “Ohhh me? I’d definitely order the surf and turf!” Meanwhile, I am trying to order breakfast. (Note: I do not know if they have nor recommend ordering surf and turf from any Bob Evans). Anyway, the point of the story is that I cannot make decisions, yet I insisted on being a part of the ring-choosing and ring-making process. We ended up visiting a few different places and I was wayyyy overwhelmed. In the end, I picked the simplest most non-complicated ring in the world and David could have easily done so without me. However, I am so in love with my ring and the dude who gave it to me.

So while the ring was being made, DZ had some time to think and plan for the proposal. This translates to me also having time to ruin all of his plans (unintentionally).

Enter our Anniversary Camping Trip.

To be Continued.

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